It’s one thing to get upgraded to first class. A much more serious game is manifesting a person, whether it’s a new love interest, a business partner, or a buddy. You might need to do some emotional homework before learning how to attract people into your life and pleading with the cosmos to help you and Harry Styles fall madly in love.

According to Angela Christian, a manifestation coach, manifestation is the physical realization of your subconscious ideas, thoughts, and emotions. To achieve your objective, you must align your mind, body, and spirit with modest, doable steps.

One thing manifestation isn’t passive. “It’s a new way of life,” Christian says. “You’ll need to start auditing and upgrading your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and words if you want to maintain consistent and accurate manifestation results.” This could imply spending time understanding your attachment issues before manifesting a new partner or recognizing your teacher’s pet-like need for approval before seeking out a mentor. Nobody said it would be easy, but once you find that special someone — whatever role that person plays — it will all be worth it.

How Does Manifestation Work?

There are numerous ways to attract the people you want to be around, whether it’s a new friend group or a Hinge match. Making vision boards and journaling are both popular methods. Others prefer to meditate by repeating affirmations or visualizing their desires. You can do whatever you want as long as you know why you want it.

There is one caveat to manifesting someone as opposed to something: you cannot manifest someone against their will. If that hiring manager doesn’t respond to your email or the cute guy you went on a date with last week vanishes, take it as a sign from the universe. Don’t push it.

Describe the characteristics you seek in that person.

Forget about concentrating on a single person. (I apologize to Harry Styles fans.) Instead, zero in on specific characteristics, attributes, and values you want this person to possess. Writing in your journal, “I want to get married,” is too vague. Instead, say something like, “I’m ready for a loving, committed relationship with someone funny, adventurous, and loves camping as much as I do.” With that kind of specific input already in mind, your ears are bound to perk up when your Bumble date tells you about the goofy nickname they earned while hiking the Appalachian Trail last year.

Visualize the experiences you want to share with your partner.

Gardening in your garden. Speaking at a Geneva conference. Close your eyes and imagine making whatever memories you want with this person. “First visualise yourself inside your body, then visualise yourself outside your body watching yourself experience the manifestation — this increases desire in the subconscious mind,” Gibler explains.

Consider how you’ll feel around them.

“Be very clear on the feeling you want to have around this person,” Christian advises, “even visualising specific things they’ll say to you.” (Yes, “you are the most beautiful woman on the planet” counts.) If you’re looking for a new business partner, you might want to feel supported, creative, and energized. When manifesting a new romantic partner, those emotions may shift toward security, joy, and intimacy. Bring out the feelings wheel and circle the ones that resonate with you.

Make Emotional Room For Them

Take time to clear the emotional cobwebs left behind by others before attracting someone new into your life. Goodbye, toxic ex. Goodbye, deceitful boss. Of course, it’s easier said than done, but doing the work of moving on from previous relationships creates space in your life for new ones to emerge.

Use the present tense when speaking.

Avoid using the past tense when speaking or writing about the person you want to manifest. Instead, begin your thoughts with affirmative “I have,” “I want,” or “I need” statements. Gibler suggests writing letters to the person you want to manifest in the present tense and using positive language. This shifts your focus to the present moment rather than someday.

Get Rid of the Timeline

When manifesting someone, you must let go of any expectations about how or when they will appear. Expecting a 6’2″ Spanish model to ring your doorbell next Saturday at 2:00 p.m. is asking for trouble. “The universe sees things from a much broader perspective and will always deliver exactly what you want, or someone/something better,” Gibler says. Be patient and have faith in the manifesting process.